If you haven’t yet read the tribute written to Helen by her daughter, Mary-Lynn Culbert, please click here.
Mary HELEN Needham was the wife of Kenneth Arthur Culbert (son of Myron Culbert and Effie Taylor). She lived to celebrate her 100th birthday.
Helen was born 25 January 1918 on a farm in London Township about nine miles north of London, Ontario, Canada.
Helen was from a pioneer family. According to the book, London Township: Families Past and Present [1], Helen’s great-grandfather, William Needham (1782-1867) married Jane Proctor (1787-1877). William and Jane were born in England but moved to County Wicklow, Ireland after their marriage.
The young couple were dissatisfied with conditions in Ireland, so they embarked with their children on a small sailing vessel bound for America, around 1820. After living for awhile in America, they set out for Upper Canada. They were met by friends who guided them through the forests to the south half of Lot 9, Concession 10 in London Township. This farm remained in the family for over a century, and it was here that Helen’s grandfather, Thomas Needham was born.
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| Helen's grandfather, Thomas Needham |
Thomas Needham (1834-1929) married Helen Farr (1850-1904) after whom Helen was named, and they had three children, including Helen’s father, Gordon Needham (1887-1962).
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| Helen's father, Gordon Needham (left) with her brother, Louis Needham |
When describing her father, Helen told me, "In his old age, they would take up the rug for him to tap dance." Dancing abilities aside, Gordon Needham was well-respected in the County and provided loans to many a young man wanting to start his own farm with only a handshake as a guarantee of repayment. Helen said, “He was always repaid – people’s word and reputation really meant something, and folks came to him for help because he had a reputation as an honest man.”
In 1908, Gordon Needham married 18-year-old Mary Emma Smith (1889-1923).
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| Helen's mother, Mary Emma (Smith) Needham |
Mary Emma Smith was born in London Township but her maternal grandmother, Prudence Shotwell was from New Jersey, USA with Quaker roots going back to the 1600s in that state.
Gordon Needham and Mary Emma Smith had six children. Sadly, Mary died in 1923 soon after giving birth, from puerperal fever, known at the time as “childbed fever.” It was often caused by doctors not washing their hands. Today, antibiotics can cure the disease.
Helen was only five years old when she lost her mother. Helen’s father was left to cope on his own with six young children. Desperate for help, he remarried to a widow with children of her own.
The family moved to London when Helen was a child. Helen attended Victoria Public School on Wharncliffe Road South and then London South Collegiate Institute on Tecumseh Avenue East. She graduated from grade 13 in 1936. She was accepted to Western University and managed to get through most of her first year before she was forced to drop out for lack of financial resources. She would have been the first child in her family, and the first woman to have graduated from University had she been able to continue as she so badly wanted to. Unfortunately, Helen’s step-mother put the needs of her own children ahead of those of her step-children so it was with relief that Helen moved out of the family house.
As a young woman, Helen worked at the Smallman & Ingram Department Store at the corner of Richmond & Dundas in London, once Western Ontario's largest department store. (In 1944 it became Simpson’s Department Store). Helen worked in the millinery department at Smallman & Ingram, selling hats.
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| Smallman and Ingram store, 1941. (via London Public Library) |
During this time, she met Ken Culbert at a New Year’s Eve dance.
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| Ken and Helen at the beach |
Helen’s exemplary work at the department store had not gone unnoticed. Management had decided to groom her as a Buyer, and sent her to New York City with their Senior Buyer so that she might rise in the company. Ken wasn’t happy with this development. Jealous by nature, the idea of Helen having a career and travelling without him was the last thing he wanted, so he put the kibosh on her plans. Instead, they married and immediately started a family, according to what he wanted.
Even if Ken had been supportive, women often found themselves dismissed from their jobs after marriage as it was expected that their husbands would support the family. And that’s exactly what happened to Helen.
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| Ken and Helen's wedding day, 19 October 1940. |
I don’t know how Helen coped from 1941-1945 while Ken was away at war. She was without a mother to give her advice.
Ken’s brother, Mel Culbert had a marvellous mother-in-law named Mabel Patrick who lived on King Street, just around the corner from Ken and Helen. Helen often enjoyed long talks and tea with Mabel. Mabel was 33 years older than Helen and had raised six children so she may have been a help to Helen. At least, Mabel was there to keep Helen company during that lonely time.
Helen told me that Ken’s grandmother, Jane (Fairhall) Culbert stayed with Ken and Helen for a couple of days following Greg’s birth. Jane was an old woman so Helen let Jane sleep in her bed while Helen slept on the chesterfield with the baby close by. When Helen awoke, she found Jane had kindly taken the baby into the bedroom to care for him while Helen slept. Helen described Jane as a “wonderful, very nice, smart woman.” So despite Jane’s advanced years, perhaps Helen could rely on her help from time to time.
Helen loved to paint and told me she used to “get lost in it.”
When I asked Helen how long she'd been painting, she said since age five or six! When she was a young girl, she exhibited a painting at London's Western Fair. She started taking art classes in the 1960s and painted steadily for about 10 years. Her paintings were later on display at City Hall in North York.
Few people in the family knew about her artistic talent as she was quite modest. When I asked why she’d hidden her light under a bushel, she replied, “It’s not something you go around boasting about.”
Following the death of her husband in 2000, Helen moved from Toronto to Calgary, Alberta into an assisted living centre.
Initially, she moved in with her son, Greg and his family and lived with them for a couple of years. But it was mutually decided that everyone would be happier if she had her own space. She moved into The Manor, just 10 minutes from Greg, and that worked well for everybody!
For her 99th birthday, the staff gave Helen an enormous cake. She told me, "At my age, I don't give a HOOT about dieting! I do anything I want!”
For her 100th birthday, Helen was surrounded by close family who celebrated this momentous day in style.
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| Helen Culbert celebrating her 100th birthday in 2018. |
Helen received birthday greetings from the Queen, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, and the Governor General of Canada.
She treasured her letter from the Queen, and displayed it proudly, but said, “I never much cared for that Trudeau boy – you can put his in a drawer.”
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| Birthday greetings from Her Majesty |
My husband and I helped to create a book of memories for Helen’s 100th birthday, using photos sent to us by many family members and friends.
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| Helen, Mary-Lynn, and Cam looking at her memory book. |
Helen had strong opinions on any number of subjects and I enjoyed engaging her in discussions about the world and life in general. One day she was talking about how young women should be taught how to care for themselves in high school so they don't make bad choices, especially where men are concerned. She made me laugh when she said “some men who don't marry choose not to marry because they're too damn cheap to support a woman."
I figured that after 100 years, Helen knew a thing or two about life and so I welcomed her opinions. One day I was complaining that I wasn’t enjoying my day because I had too much to do. She said, “Women think they need to be always working at something. It’s okay to put your feet up, have a cup of tea, and relax whenever you feel like it. Be good to yourself.” Thank you, Aunt Helen. That’s good advice for all of us.
Let's hear now from Helen’s granddaughter, Kim Oke Small ...
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| Kim Oke Small with her grandmother, Helen Culbert |
My grandmother taught me to look at the world through an artist’s eye. She taught me to notice the colours and hues of the sea and sky. She taught me about flowers and herbs. I am reminded of her when I smell fresh lilac, pecan pie and Island Gardenia perfume, when I hear Perry Como or touch purple velvet.
She had a life sized poster of Clark Gable on the back of her bedroom door. She joked that she said goodnight to him always. She told the best stories! When I’d visit, we’d drink tea and eat from her gingerbread house cookie jar (which I now have) talking for hours and hours together. She loved me well all my life and taught me to be just the right amount of proud and brave - I am grateful for it.
Thank you
Helen (Needham) Culbert’s Family Tree:
Ancestors:
William Needham & Jane Proctor (paternal great-grandparents)
Thomas Needham & Helen Farr (paternal grandparents)
Gordon Needham & Mary Emma Smith (parents)
Descendants (Children):
Kenneth Campbell “Cam” Culbert
Brian Gregory “Greg” Culbert
Mary-Lynn Culbert
Extra family history details:
If you grew up in London, Ontario you’ll be familiar with Needham’s Funeral Service, a family-run funeral home on Dundas Street. The founder, Russell Needham was Helen’s second cousin. When Russell retired, his son Lloyd Needham took over.
Russell Needham’s nephew, Garth Hudson has been described as “the most brilliant organist in the rock world.” Garth became a member of the world-renowned group, The Band but before that, he played the organ at Needham’s funeral home. Garth is related to Helen, and therefore to her descendants.
Footnotes:
[1] London Township: Families Past and Present, Volume II. Arva, Ont.: The London Township History Book Committee, October 2001, 339.
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| We love you, Helen |
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